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Go over and introduce yourself, and say you hear that she’s a petroleum engineer, whose job is to rethink drilling to minimize the danger to the environment.And that’s fascinating, because you really care about the environment. This is somewhat how the Danes do it themselves, except that there’s a lot of alcohol involved.

If they’re in a nightclub, he might ask her if she’d like to dance, or maybe go outside and get some fresh air. In fact, they will get you rejected, and then you’ll worry that that you’re being rejected because you’re a foreigner. Danes are not good with strangers, any type of stranger. Men would tell a lady how much money they made, and how much money they were going to make, how much power and influence they had, and how expensive their watch was. First of all, if you have money in Denmark, the government’s going to take it all away.

On these “consensually-ranked” traits, people seem to aspire to partners who rank more highly than themselves. The stereotypical example of that is known in sociology as a “beauty-status exchange”—an attractive person marries a wealthy or otherwise powerful person, and both win.

It’s the classic story of an elderly polymath-billionaire who has sustained damning burns to the face who marries a swimsuit model who can’t find Paris on a map but really wants to go there, because it’s romantic.

University of Notre Dame sociologist Elizabeth Mc Clintock has done exhaustive research on the idea of people exchanging traits.

Her work was published last month in , looking at data from 1,507 couples in various stages of relationships, including dating, cohabiting, and married.

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